Kyle's IQ

When I was pregnant with Kyle my thyroid levels were low. Not low enough that they would normally treat it, but lower than they should have been. Because of that I got involved in a study. I had to take a pill/placebo every day while I was pregnant with him and have my blood drawn at every OB appointment. Now every year until he turns 5 within a month of his birthday Kyle has an IQ test at the U of U. It's really fun. I sit and smile the whole time because he is so smart.

However this year I was super nervous because I haven't been able to get him to learn his shapes, colors, and letters yet. I just knew we'd (and when I say we, I mean it would be obvious that it was ME failing) get there and fail every test. Fortunately none of those things were tested this time around (phew!). It was about 30 minutes long and had 6 different parts. I didn't watch the first 10 minutes or so because I was filling out a questionnaire. One cool thing was they had these flat, rectangular blocks. The lady would do a configuration then ask Kyle to copy it. Some used up to 5 blocks which were stacked or layed out in patterns in various ways. There were probably 15-20 configurations. It was fun to see him work out how to move and hold and stack the blocks. He got most of them perfect and was really close on two. One he was not close at all :)

One of the easier ones was to name objects that were drawn on a page. Only he didn't just say "spoon," "chair," or "helicopter" he said, "Spoon that we can use to eat." "Chair that we sit on. And that one is high and we could fall off." "Helicopter that flies like this..." It was cute.

Another test was to fit things in categories. He was shown a page on a book with 5 pictures on it. Then given a card with a picture on it. He had to find the one that it went with best---like a rose with a daisy, an airplane with a helicopter, a ruler with a measuring cup (he figured that out!), etc. He was excellent at that. Although he paired a watch and a lamp once, but we can't be perfect.

At the end she warned me that they never do well at the last test. It involved showing a black and white drawing of one or two things on one page, then when the page was turned he had to find the same things among many things. Trick being she didn't say, "Now find that bear" All she said was with the first page, "See this?" Then turned the page "Where is it?" Sometimes it would show one dog then the next page had that dog and five other dogs. He was awesome at it! Claire and Kyle love to read "I Spy" books, so I'm sure this prepared him. Either way, the lady said that he'd done by far the best of any three year old to date. Gotta love that.

Anyway, it was interesting and fun to see him excel at things that neither of us knew he could do. Don't get me wrong, he's not all genius; like yesterday he said to me, "Mommy. I say you gorgeous. And i say you a pee-poo." Lovely.

Finally

I finally finished my china cupboard. I've wanted a curio forever---honestly as a permanent place for my crown. Well those are hard to come by at the DI. So are these, but I got one in Provo for fifty bucks. Good start. Here it is to begin with:And now it's in my house! It took three days to prep and paint. A day or so to put back together. And about an hour to get up the guts to, and then spray glue on the fabric. I LOVE the results!

And did I show you the kid bench I painted? I took a picture of the pillows that are on my bench: Then Keli cut a stencil of vinyl for me, and I painted over it.

Then I picked the stencil off with tweezers, and voila. Fancy!


I finally finished my china cupboard. I've wanted a curio forever---honestly as a permanent place for my crown. Well those are hard to come by at the DI. So are these, but I got one in

Long week

You know when you think something is a good idea and in the end it probably was a good idea but requires a lot more work than you thought it would? That happened to us Sunday. Taylor got this idea that for Family Night we should hang up our pictures. [When we moved in to our BRAND NEW house we were reluctant to put any holes in the walls at all. Typically in our five homes before now we had every wall covered. Here our walls are sparse.] The pictures were mostly stored in the closet under our stairs. As I made efforts to retrieve them, the bright idea occurred to me that if that closet were cleaned out I could put the cats in there and reclaim my bathroom. (That alone has made it worth it.)

So out came the frames. Out came the food storage. Out came my decoration that were out of season. Out came half-finished crafts. Out came the kleenex boxes, egg cartons, shoe boxes, and other items I've saved for a rainy day to use to make projects with the kids. And they all ended up in my kitchen. Some of the frames were hung. A lot of them, actually. The dwindling food storage (which once was so large and so lovely, and truly has lasted us a year as planned) fit in the pantry for the most part. We swept it out and transferred the cats. Yeah! On Monday I mopped and sanitized the bathroom, so now if you come over you can use the bathroom again. Yeah!

However, Taylor spent the day on Monday hunting with my dad and brother, and the rest of the week at work, so the brunt of finishing the giant project landed on me. It seriously looked like we had just moved in. Boxes and trash and treasures were everywhere. I tried. I really tried to deal with it. And each day there has been improvement. Today it was mostly better. Then I got a wild hair to clean out the toy room and store away toys in preparation for the upcoming holidays. Seriously that was a 4-5 hour project with two kids who found "treasure" after "treasure" with which they refused to part.

I got that done, then there was the issue of the box of toys that was in the garage---the box that we once dumped everything in because we were having a bunch of people over and didn't have time to clean. It also contained a bunch of mismatched toys that were hand-me-downs from someone in the ward. It has been in the garage for months. Maybe four months or more. I insanely dumped it out in my front room. 90 minutes later we had sorted trash, to keep, and to give away items and mostly put them away.

Then I got news that my glass shelves for my china cabinet were in. Which means that to make room for it I had to clean out Claire's little toy cupboard in preparation for the move from the kitchen to her room. This hadn't been done since we moved in. Yikes! Every little piece of plastic dinnerware is now being washed and sanitized in the dishwasher and the cupboard is ready for its new home away from my kitchen.

Now with the project mostly done I'm at a stand-still. Little pieces of toys are scattered throughout our living area. There is a medium-sized laundry basket full of crap waiting to be sorted and stored upstairs. And Taylor will be home in ten minutes. I'll be glad to have him help finish what he suggested we start last Sunday.

Not that you need to know any of this. Just know that if you come over in the next few days (which a lot of you will be coming over) and notice how clean my house is----you can know what actually went into making it that way.

And look forward to pictures of the cabinet! I can't wait for it!

The Past

Forever ago I was obsessed with the TV show Lois & Clark: The new adventures of Superman (see that colon? maybe that's why I love colons). Obsessed is a mild word to describe how I liked it. And it wasn't just me. There were 4-5 friends of mine who were in on it. It started in 8th grade. I remember the exact moment at lunch where we realized that a bunch of us had seen and loved the previous night's episode. Anyway, I digress from my reason for writing. (But, notice the picture above, how it's autographed? I chose that one, because somewhere I have a similar autographed picture. I won 2nd place in an live online trivia contest once. First place got a signed script, I was totally bummed. But happy to have beaten out hundreds of people. BTW, is that pathetic?)

Anyway, a few nights ago Taylor and I were watching CSI Miami and wondering about a character on it. I looked her up on wikipedia, and saw that she had played Lana Lang on an episode of L&C. Of course we wanted to see what she looked like. Conveniently Taylor purchased a contraband set of the complete series on DVD for me for Christmas 2004. I had morning sickness at that time, so I didn't want to watch them (afraid they would always make me sick), so I lent them to my sister almost immediately and just got them back within the last year. I hadn't watched them (sad, I know!) at all. So we popped the episode in. MEMORIES! It was the one right before they were supposed to get married (only Lois was replaced by a frog-eating clone!) and watching it just made me happy. And sentimental.

Here's why I'm writing. Watching that episode (okay, and the four others I watched last night while Taylor was out of town and I was too scared/too into the episodes to go to sleep) made me remember exactly how it felt to be a teenager. The hormones, the hope, the relative ease with which I lived my life---even though I thought I was super stressed and busy and misunderstood.

Looking back, it was so easy then! I lived for me. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted. Now my life is dictated by my family. Which is fine. And how it should be. I just don't think I appreciated it back then.

We wanted to BE Lois Lane. Last night I watched Lois as a headstrong, confident woman of the early 90's and seriously wondered how much I subconsciously emulated her when my own confidence lacked as a young adult. To some degree I think her character shaped who I became.

We wanted desperately to have our own "Clarks." We used to play and replay the "romantic" scenes over and over again. To entertain ourselves during boring classes in junior high we'd send each other notes, writing down entire scenes from the show. We looked forward to the day we would be loved like that. And you know what? Watching the handful of episodes last night made me realize that I am loved like that. I got what I hoped for. He may not have super powers---but he can clean and helps out with the kids every second he can and does a great job with his church responsibilities. I look around and see a bunch of people our age who are finding that their marriage is not what they signed up for---but mine is---all that I hoped for back in 1994 and more.

Hard Day

Today I am having a hard day. A number of things have been minor irritations today. But one thing in particular has bugged me. While the kids finish up their breakfasts I usually go through my daily blogs and check out what’s happening on Facebook. Maya was here this morning for a few hours before Pre-School, so I had some extra time while the three kids ran after the cats. One thing kept sticking out to me was pictures people have with their kids. Just about everyone has a picture of a close up of themselves with their kids’s chubby cheeks smashed against their own. But I just don’t have those. I’m quite anti being in pictures since everything happened with my face. About 90% of pictures I’ve seen of myself (and 100% of the close-ups) since the surgery make my stomach ache. Seriously.

Some days I think I’m really over it. That it’s okay to look how I look. That it doesn’t bother me anymore. And other days I’d rather just give up and never go anywhere and never take a single picture again. Once on TV I saw an opera star who had been famous a number of years ago. She quit at the peak of her career. She never sang another note because she wanted her last note to be remembered as absolutely perfect. And I can see that that is a copout. I know that a lot of things get better with age. Seven months away from being 30 I think most things about me are better now than when I was 20. Some things are way better.

And some are worse. I’m not near my ideal weight. But I’m still in my reproductive stage (hopefully), so sometimes that doesn’t bother me. But then it does bother me when I see these pictures of close ups. Sometimes I know it’s close up because the person is thinking “The rest of me may not be ideal, but my eyes and face still look great.” Sometimes it bugs me that I don’t have that option.

I think maybe I’ll just start wearing sunglasses in most pictures. Or going for the look pictured above.

The best part of this is that I speak about this in my firesides---accepting yourself and not focusing on the outside appearance. And I do believe it. I do. I’m just not perfect at it yet. Most days are fine. Some days are great. Today is not one of those days…

Weird

This has happened to me a couple times. And I’ve wanted to comment about it on Facebook, but for reasons later explained you’ll see why I couldn’t.

 

I am friends with a number of people I don’t really know on Facebook. Pageants do that to you. That’s why I don’t have pictures of my kids on facebook. I don’t really know these people, let alone the people they are married to and/or living with. Usually the name sounds familiar and I accept the friendship. Then I forget about them. Or block them. Sometimes my brain makes strange connections and remembers who they are and how I know them. Today while I was making triple chocolate pound cake (it’s just out of the oven, I haven’t tried it yet, but the dough was divine---in fact I consciously had 1/2 cup of it for lunch!) I suddenly made a connection as to whom one of my “friends” is and who they are. The problem was that my friend had changed so much in appearance and values and basically everything that I was SHOCKED to remember the person I knew 10 years ago. I am so intrigued, in fact, that I really want to message my “friend” and say: “What in the world happened to you? What made you make these choices? And how can I prevent this from happening to my child?” But tact stops me. We are all free to make our own choices. It’s just that I don’t want my kids to make ANY of those choices. And I want to know why/how this drastic, drastic change happened.

 

So I’m writing it here. Does this happen to you? Doesn’t it freak you out? Lots of people turn out for the better. In fact it’s so refreshing to me to see most of my childhood friends grow up to confident, decent, and loving parents. It gives me hope for the world. But then there is that handful of people that just leave me wondering. Like today.

 

And really, check out the link to that cake recipe.

Happy Birthday Thing 1 and Thing 2

Today is Taylor’s 31st birthday and Claire’s 5th birthday. I love that their birthdays wrap up the summer. Already it seems the winds are changing and there is a slight bite in the air in the mornings. Things are starting to smell different, and fall is certainly on its way.

I titled this post “Happy Birthday Thing 1 and Thing 2” because the are the first people/things that have belonged to me. And as I don’t think this story has been told on this blog, here is how I managed to capture Taylor:

 

We met during the summer of 2001. We don’t specifically remember meeting. Taylor’s mom was the seamstress for the Miss Utah Organization and I, fortunately, was Miss Utah. So I spent a lot of time there during my preparations for Miss America. I remember him mostly as going to or coming home from playing basketball. And once he saw me in a strapless gown (which was later turned into one with sleeves) and I wondered what he would think of me---strapless and all. Rumor had it he had just returned from a mission to California, and I was waiting for a missionary who was serving in California (the not-dating kind of waiting). Somewhere along the line Kerry Lynn, his mom, asked me if I’d be interested in going out with Taylor. I told her that I was waiting for a missionary. And that was it.

I competed at the Miss America Pageant in September. Being Miss Utah was a lonely job. I was driving to and making appearances alone about 80% of the time. Everywhere I went I was offered male company in the form of a blind date. I politely declined for a while, but near the end of October any type of company seemed wonderful. Plus, who was I to deny all of the suitors? So I emailed Kerry Lynn and told her that my 18 month hiatus from dating was over and I was ready. I guess Taylor was seeing someone at the time and I didn’t hear from him. And that was it.

So I started dating a ton of boys. I saw a few more than I saw others. I saw my trainer a lot in the gym and out of the gym. He was kind of a jerk (ok, really a jerk) but he was fun to look at. I went to California with him over New Years to visit his family and see the sights (and mostly as a get-away-from-Rhea excuse). We drove home from California together. It was clear to me after that ride home that things were not going to work out with the two of us. He really was a selfish jerk. Taylor called the minute I walked into my house with the trainer upon our return from California. He asked me out. I accepted. And that was it.

Our first date was on January 8, 2002. We went to a dinner, a movie, and played miniature golf. I made that hole-in-one at the end and I’m sure with that Taylor knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We had a lot in common--or so we thought. Now we know we covered about all we have in common on that first date! He kept asking me out, and I kept accepting.  A couple times he picked me up at Harmon’s grocery store after I spent the evening signing autographs for the Special Olympics in the frozen foods section. He came to my long, probably excruciating, days spent delivering 4-7 presentations about organ donation to drivers ed or jr. high health classes. He was a super boyfriend---however unofficial as I continued to date slews of boys.  I knew I liked him because I gave him my precious free time, but each time he called I was genuinely surprised that he wanted the relationship to continue. I was a little confused because although we went out weekly, and he made a couple attempts to hold my hand---he never kissed me. And that was it.

However, despite his inability to get the guts to kiss me, I fell in love with him. Every time I’d see him (which quickly became more than just weekly) I’d giggle to my parents on how he didn’t dare kiss me. One night, in particular, I spent 45 minutes saying good night to him in freezing temperatures and still he chickened out. A few days later on March 24, 2002 I was invited to a fireside in Kaysville. Vanessa Ballam was speaking at it, and she was my favorite Miss Utah, so I didn’t want to miss it. Taylor, ever willing to be with me, drove me to Kaysville in my truck (yes, I drove a truck back then) and we went to the fireside. On the way home I fell asleep, as I was prone to do then (I was so busy with appearances and piano that if I was sitting in a car for more than a couple minutes I was instantly out). I remember waking for a few moments on the freeway. We were holding hands. He looked at me and smiled. And I felt comfortable enough to go back to sleep. My last thought before consciousness was the strong impression that I would marry him. We watched the Academy Awards later that night at his house. I slept through most of them and realized I was coming down with a cold (likely from the 45 minutes of freezing and waiting for him to kiss me just nights before) When he walked me to my truck it was nearing midnight and very cold. I wasn’t about to have a repeat of standing in the cold, so I climbed right into my truck. He pulled me out. Kissed me. Kissed me again. And that was it. Forever.

 

Don’t worry. We did make out (very chastely, Mom) for about 4 hours the next day. It made up for lost time. Every time I hear the song “It feel like home” it reminds me of that night. I just felt so comfortable, so “at home” with him. And that was something I’d never felt before for anyone. And it continues. I can be more myself with him than with anyone else I know. Eight years later it just gets better every day. He is my true north, my center, my home.

 

Happy Birthday, T!

Seasons of life

When I was Miss Utah my platform was Organ Donation Awareness. Starting from my first pageant in early 1999 until the end of my reign as Miss Utah in June 2002 it was my "platform." After I was Miss Utah until August 2004 it was my daily job as I traveled the state bringing the awareness message to high school and junior high students. It wasn't just my platform, it was--- and continues to be---my passion.

Until I was pregnant with Kyle I was still heavily involved in many organ donation things in Utah. I was on the Community Advisory Board for Intermountain Donor Services. I attended many functions and meetings. I firmly believe that there is a time and season for everything we want to do in life. Though it was very, very difficult to do, I resigned from my position on the Board and decided to concentrate on my season of mothering. I had a wonderful season of community service. And I have every intention of returning to further my involvement with organ donation once I am no longer in my full-time mothering season.

I spent every Thursday during my reign as Miss Utah fund raising and speaking and schmoozing and doing all sorts of planning to make it possible to have a monument to organ donors on Library Square. Two things happened: The monument was made and dedicated in 2004. And my life was forever changed as I spent my days with Jeannene Barham, Lisa Hawthorne, and Maureen Schwendiman. They tutored me in service, life, religion, and love as we tirelessly crusaded across the United States in support of organ donation.

I am lucky because I have the monument as tactile proof of my efforts. Though it certainly didn't happen solely because of me, I'd like to think I was a big part of it. The other day we were at the Salt Lake Library, and I thought about showing Claire the monument at Library Square. I don't know why I hadn't shared it with her before. But I'm glad I waited.

It was a perfect spring day in April. She wandered around loving the statues and waiting for the water to come from the fountain. It was everything we had imagined in those early planning stages: Children coming to a place where they would laugh and play and learn.
This is a picture of Taylor and Claire waiting for the fountain to turn on. We designed it so that it would turn on at random intervals and the viewer had to wait for it to turn on----much like those who are waiting for organs, never knowing just when the moment would be.


This is my favorite picture of the day. I love her shadow, the waiting water, and the hope of spring in the pink trees. We explained to her that it was fun to be Miss Utah, but the thing that was important was what the monument represents: lives have been saved, and lives will continue to be saved because of organ donation. The top picture is a stone with my name and title engraved on it. Miss America gave special permission for part of my scholarship to donate $1,500 toward the building of the monument, so I got a paver. It's a reminder to me of my season of service. That one person (combined with a lot more great individuals) can make a lasting difference. I love my season of being a mother. And I look forward to another season of community service. I still think there are big things ahead of me.

Long time, no post

When I typed "post" for the title, I typed "poast." Just thought I'd share.

We have been busy. We've had little trips, little projects, and a new little baby come into our lives in the last little while. My scrapbook will do most of the recapping, but for a bit of it: Taylor, Claire and I went to Cowabunga Bay with Rob and Whitney during the first week of July. It was fun---but I'm glad we got 50% off passes online. Taylor's back and shoulders got burned beyond recognition. He had blisters covering his shoulders and back down to his trunks. I got a bit burned, but nothing in comparison. We put sunscreen on Claire. She was still pasty white upon our return.

We went to Lagoon on the 14th. We had a great time. Celia found some great tickets for a great price. She had 8 of them. Somehow she and Maya got two of them, and my family members got the rest of them. We took Claire and met my parents and Suzy and Paul at Lagoon. We were bummed that Celia got sick and was a party pooper (that's what you get for being pregnant), but we partied until they kicked us out. Claire was literally still running around at 10pm. She never ever stopped that day. Big thanks go to Bethany for watching Kyle ALL DAY LONG. You may ask why we don't take Kyle on these adventures---as Bethany found out, even swings are too scary for that little boy. He likes his feet firmly planted on the ground.

Taylor's sister, Whitney, had a baby on July 15th. Little Zane as had some breathing problems since then. But tonight we have word that he's getting a trial run in her hospital room (just one week late) and may go home tomorrow. We have prayed so hard for this little guy. I have cried more in the last week than I think in the last 3 or 4 years combined. We were so sad that he was so sick, and that Whit and Rob didn't get the chance to just take that little man home as soon as possible, but grateful that prayers are being answered and that he is healing. He is so handsome and just radiates love. We can't wait until we can cuddle him. Kyle and Claire haven't been able to see him yet. They're about going crazy wanting to hold him and ask to see his pictures every day.

I managed to create some ridiculous problems in my right big toe. The pain has stopped me in my tracks---literally. We think it's a bout of gout or something like it (who gets that anyway?). However I'm in between insurances, and I'm not about to go to the doctor and spend hundreds of dollars for a dumb toe. Let's just say that I've got some medicine that is working and I'm eating cherries by the handful and drinking water by the quart---and apparently I'll be okay soon. I guess the joint fluid in my toe has crystallized and is cutting stuff up or something like that. The pain was so intense Tuesday night that I was losing my mind. The swelling was incredible. I felt like my toe nail would just pop off and fly across the room. I was certain my skin was tearing around my calluses. After sleeping maybe an hour and trying large amounts of ibuprofen, at 5am I finally gave in and dug around for some of the "good" drugs I had after my last surgery. They took the edge off for an hour.

My friends took great care of me. Renee came with medical ideas and picked up my kitchen (the night before was our best attended craft night to date) while I held her baby. Good trade. Kyle went to a birthday party and Claire played at Shannon's across the street while Shannon made us dinner (how's that for a friend? She watched my kid AND made my family dinner at the same time). Celia rounded up the day and brought a bag of cherries to take the acid out of my system and a gigantic water bottle that I'm supposed to fill twice daily in order to flush out that acid.

My mom came up to help me the next day, and Renee was back to do glitter toes for me. She guided me through doing toes for my mom and Claire. We're not professionals but we're pretty good. Mom got her FIRST TICKET EVER on her way home from our house. We were a little bummed that her service to us ended on a low night.

So that's about it. I'm thinking I'll blog more once summer is over. Just too much fun for now.

Piano

Claire had her first piano lesson yesterday. I was nervous about it for a lot of reasons---and probably why I have been putting off her lessons even though she's been asking for months. She doesn't take direction from me without getting angry (when learning songs to sing, cleaning her room, or generally doing---or stopping doing---anything when she thinks she knows what she's doing). I took weeks telling her that Mom knows how to play the piano and when it comes to the piano, whatever mom says is right. Always. (I've had a few student's I've had to explain this to too!). She committed to two things: Always listening to Mom, and that once she starts lessons she's committed until she's 18. I'm not sure how well she understood that last one...

So we started yesterday evening. Taylor took Kyle to Best Buy (looking for a camera which explains the lack of pictures to document the event----but not really my lack of blogging for an entire month), and we had the house to ourselves. She did great at learning her finger numbers. She was excellent at hand position---it's so natural for her, and usually it's the hardest thing for my students to remember. But I totally noticed when she was a baby that her hands rested in perfect piano position (probably that last comment will show up on seriously so blessed.) And this is my blog, so I can say that. Playing the piano is definitely in her genes, so I'm happy to see it expressed.

Long story short, it was my favorite piano moment ever (but really close to my patriotic medley when I gave up my Miss Utah crown). She was so great. She paid attention. She didn't goof off or push random buttons/keys while I was explaining things. Her attention span was far beyond usual. We had a great time. She learned four songs and is practicing them (and the next ten songs in the book) as I write this. She learned her flashcards almost immediately. She'd shout "Quarter Note!" while holding up one finger. "Half Note" with two fingers. "Whole Note" with four. "Double bar line means the end!" and so on. It was adorable.

I'm not naive enough to think that this will last forever, or even that her enthusiasm will last for the entire month of July, but for now it's so precious. It's so rewarding for me to see her enjoy something that I love so much. Piano has always been a huge part of my life, and I'm so happy to share it with her. And I've also started teaching a few more kids (5 committed students so far) after a two-year hiatus from teaching. I'm so glad to be doing it again. I really love it. I'm looking for three or five more students I think, so if you know anyone who needs lessons, send them on over.