In memory...

My mom and I went to a funeral yesterday. Our dear friend David Nemelka passed away. We met David early in 2001. He founded the Quest for the Gift of Life Foundation, an organization dedicated to furthering the cause of organ donation awareness and specifically to eradicating the organ shortage. The timing of this was impeccable as I was beginning my second (and winning) journey to the Miss Utah Pageant. He was beyond enthusiastic about me and about the cause that had been dear to my heart for the previous two years. His vision and generosity came to donation awareness at a vital and inspired time.

With David, 2001

During my year as Miss Utah I spent at least one day a week (usually more) with the Quest Foundation; meeting, presenting, planning, and driving around the state with the directors of the Foundation, Jeannene Barham (David's sister) and Lisa Hawthorne (and many others too many to name). We made a difference! Plans for the monument at Library Square were put into place and it was dedicated in 2004.  In April 2002 we launched the online organ donor registry, a unique and revolutionary idea at the time (which has since been created in nearly every other state in the nation). As of 2010 73% of Utahns had signed up on the registry---an amazing accomplishment. I traveled with Jeannene and Lisa to schools, businesses, hospitals, rotary clubs, boys and girls clubs, and basically anywhere we could go. The interesting thing about organ donation is that you never really can pinpoint exactly where the difference was made. You usually don't hear about how you directly affected someone's choice to donate (although I do have two or three such treasured personal stories). But lives continued to be saved, and the donation rates slowly and steadily increase---and much of the increase can be directly connected to David and the proverbial ball that he got rolling when he got involved in the cause.

With Lisa at the Alamo

On the River Walk in San Antonio with Jeannene

Obviously funerals are hard because they make the loss final and real. David will be missed for the love and warmth he brought with him everywhere he went; for his amazing generosity and community service. He was larger than life and accomplished more in 71 years than most people could in several lifetimes.

Yesterday his seven children spoke so lovingly and eloquently. The chapel was packed to overflowing. And I was inspired. He clearly lived by mantras; Some of which I had heard him repeat in person, some of which his family repeated yesterday. Two things stood out to me: First, he always said, "Family first and nothing second" His children said that he was not a perfect man but was perfect in his love. I love that. They also said that he was dedicated to making positive memories for them. It made me really want to consciously take the opportunity to create good, happy memories with my children now and in the future. Each of his children said that he was their hero---and I know that they meant that with all of their hearts.

Secondly a life motto for him was "I am my brother's keeper." I love that too. He exemplified this motto. His life was full of service, and I am sure he was greeted in heaven by hundreds of open arms and thankful hearts. Seeing Jeannene and Lisa yesterday brought back so many good memories. We spent every day that year (and years before and after) doing service for others. If ever I look back at a time in my life and say, "Those were the days," it will be in reference to those days---not the glitz and glamor of the pageant and the crown, but the quiet conversations and busy days spent in service.

Fittingly, last week I finally finished my scrapbook from 1999-2002, encompassing the years that I spent with Lisa, Jeannene, and David. In doing so, I read through my entire journal from that time, including much of my writings in my scrapbook. I truly walked among giants. I owe much to David---for his one-on-one conversations where he inspired me with talk of Mother Teresa and Don Quijote; for his wonderful foundation which introduced me to Lisa and Jeannene who became such vital mentors and beloved friends; for the way that he lived his life in love and service.

When I heard of David's passing my heart was broken for a moment, but I immediately had the image in my mind of him in heaven, giving big bear hugs to everyone who was there to greet him; then I'm sure he looked around and got right to work on his next adventure---his next great cause. And I couldn't help but smile. And it was the same yesterday---I couldn't help but smile; although the feeling of loss was real and heavy, his life was truly a life worth celebrating, and I was blessed to be associated with him.

Even though I haven't seen David very often in the last few years, just knowing that he was somewhere being a force for good was very comforting. I'll really miss him; and our little corner of the world will never ever be the same.