My eye surgery

I just realized I neglected to write about my latest (and last!) eye surgery. It was on the 23rd, and I've mostly recovered. There's still a little swelling, but it already looks a lot better. This one was to adjust the contour of my upper eyelid to match the other. They also wanted to eliminate the amount of skin touching the eye as my constant itching is caused by any contact my eyelid has with the prosthetic.

The doctor was fine doing the surgery without anesthesia, and I am fine not paying for anesthesia, so it was another fun time holding Taylor's hand while I was conscious and under the knife. They did give me a little anti-anxiety medication which probably saved me. They started with three or four shots to numb the area all around the inside corner of my eye. Those suckers hurt. Taylor said they really bled. At one point after one I felt hot blood running down my cheek, and I wasn't sure how I'd handle the rest. Next they covered my face in iodine. Taylor snapped this lovely picture (I thought I ought to wear lipstick if I couldn't have anything else on my face): Then they cut my eyelid open. They have a machine that will cut and cauterize at the same time. It smells awful. Taylor says it smoked---well, not it, but I smoked. Yuck. That part took a while. It didn't hurt, just was freaky to know what was happening. Next they had to find all the places they wanted to work on so there was some digging around. They ran into some scar tissue from previous surgeries. They scraped at that. I could hear it scraping and feel the pressure. That wasn't fun. Then they had to attach muscles in new places to ligaments or tendons which wouldn't numb very well, so that was really hard. Especially when I could hear the doctor saying "Pass the needle" and "Do you have a flesh hook handy?" Flesh hook. Taylor said it was like a fish hook, hook and all. They did this at three different spots. Four or five times I had to sit up and open my eyes so they could see how the adjusting was going. That was unpleasant to have to use muscles that were mid-surgery. Toward the end the numbing stuff was wearing off so I got one more shot and they stitched it up. That was quite painful too.

As I rested and recovered that evening at my parent's house my thoughts turned to Joseph Smith. I was 28-years-old and had to have surgery while awake. But I had the valium-like drug to start out with, numbing shots for the middle, and incredible pain-killers to end it all, along with the modern comforts of home. He was seven and had no drugs before and refused alcohol. I was okay for about 40 minutes, but towards the end it took some serious, serious self-control to remain calm and hold still. I'm sure his surgery was longer than mine. Not to mention the extreme age difference and absence of modern everything.

Throughout his life he endured all kinds of physical pain. I am in awe of his life and devotion to the gospel and its teachings. I am sure that his prophetic training began years before he knelt in the grove. I only hope that the trials I experience can, in some way, strengthen my love of the gospel and my dependence on my Heavenly Father.