Monday, July 20, 2009

More on motherhood and contentment

The moment I became a mother to Kyle, Claire also became a mother. I think the instinct is that strong. Something weak and helpless was placed before her, and even though she was just a little less weak and a little less helpless than he, she felt bound to nurture him as best she could.

I've been thinking about this part of the book Contentment by Maria Covey Cole. I wanted to share it:

"I sometimes wonder if my children know from my example and expressions that it is such a joy to be a mother. Or, rather, do they view motherhood as difficult and mundane? What attitudes about motherhood am I creating in my home? If my children observe my selfless actions and attitude, it is likely that they too will become selfless. Conversely, if they observe selfishness, then they too may become selfish. What will be the legacy that I bequeath to my children?

"In a recent conversation I had with Lynn, a mother of eleven grown children, she expressed regret that while raising her children she ahd not articulated her feelings about motherhood often enough. She told me that she had loved being a mother and had always felt happy and fulfilled in her role, yet she was so busy keeping up with life and getting through the years that she had never really taken the time to make a point of it. She now feels distressed that her daughters, who have recently become mothers themselves, seem unhappy and discontent. She wishes that when her girls were younger she had been more verbal in expressing to them the significance of motherhood and the joy she experienced in being a mother.

"We...find comfort in a statement made by Dag Hammarskjold, an international diplomat who served for eight years as the secretary-general of the United Nations. At the conclusion of a lifetime of service to his fellow men, he shared this profound insight: "It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses."

I like that idea. Ever since I read it I have tried to not only tell Claire and Kyle that I love them, but that I love being their Mommy. I gauge my efforts in mothering by what Claire responds when asked what she'd like to be when she grows up. If "A Mommy!" is her first answer in her list, I feel like I'm doing my job.

I also like the last paragraph. It reminds me of an article in last month's (I think last month's) Ensign. A woman stated how she felt overwhelmed by the scripture that we should feed the hungry, comfort the sick, clothe the naked, etc. She was upset that with her busy life as a mother of young children she had no time to serve her fellowmen. Then she realized that in that day alone she had fed her hungry children, clothed her naked children, and taken care of one that was sick. She realized that what God asked of her in service to her fellowmen was in actuality the work she did every day as a mother.

I may complain a little (and sometimes a lot), but I am grateful to be a mother, and to serve my family. I still have a lot to learn, but I think we are slowly becoming what we ought to be. Claire is playing right now, mothering her babies. And my kitchen is clean, so I guess we're doing okay.

4 comments:

  1. Wonderful thoughts Jac. I love every stage of mothering. It's a dream come true to have children, children-in-law, and grandchildren!

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  2. It's so much easier to feel good about mothering when things are going well. The kids are playing happily (or better yet napping), the house is in order, laundry is done, etc. Thank you for that post. I have been feeling very underestimated and underappreciated lately in my roles in our family. I think that I'm the one who may need an attitude adjustment though. Blah. I hate it when it's me. :) Anyway, very inspiring. I don't have daughters, but I often think about the attitude I am cultivating in my boys about women and mothers.
    PS-Did you get my email about speaking at a fireside? Any thoughts?

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  3. I don't have much to add besides a big 'amen' . . . I feel the same a lot of times, about being a mom and watching my girls 'mother' those around them . . . it is amazing.

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  4. I love you with all of my "mothers" heart. This is my all time favorite blog entry........ what a joy you are to all around you.

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