I think God wants us to be parents so that we can better understand Him and His role as God. So many situations of parenting can help us understand the choices He has to make and the role he plays in our lives. So, here goes.
Let's say you've had a really long day.
There was so much on your list to do and you had to haul your kids
through 3 counties to do it. Right before bedtime you hear your
youngest daughter scream. You turn around just in time to see your
oldest daughter hitting her sister on the back with a fly
swatter----for the second time! And then she winds up for a third
swing! You. Lose. It. This is the last thing you need. You yell at
your child, she tries to explain why she did it, but you'll hear none
of it. You saw what happened, no explanation is needed, and she has
to go to bed RIGHT NOW.
Later that night you're still mad. Why
would she hit her sister? You google it. You read articles on sibling
rivalry, articles written by people who were picked on by siblings,
articles about how to parent better, articles on why it's okay that
children fight, articles on why it's not okay for children to fight.
It's still hard to figure out what to do. You post it on your facebook page: Why do my kids fight all the time? Your friends all have their own theories. After a while you
check off your to-do list for the day and start to feel bad about
your reaction with your daughter. She was so good all day. She was patient while you ran
endless errands, she cleaned her room, and she did her homework
without being asked. Out of a hundred actions that day, this ONE was not okay, and you chose to focus on that instead of all the good. Before you go to bed you flip
through Instagram. You happen to look at your own personal pictures.
You see the last three or four years of the ways you celebrated your
daughter and her accomplishments. Your heart warms. SO many good
experiences and memories. She is good! She will turn out after all.
The next morning, when you've both
slept on it, you ask her what was going on last night. Why in the
world was she hitting her sister? “Mom,” she explains, “there
was a spider on her back!” Well, that makes sense at least. You
respond that it's not what you would have personally chosen to do,
but you can see why she did it.
Maybe this decision is like that. You
don't get it. It caught you off guard. You were so angry and didn't
understand. But then you remembered all of the great experiences
you've had with the church. Prayers that were answered. Blessings
that healed and comforted. The feeling you have in the temple---the
really good one that doesn't happen every single time. The feeling
you had when you were sealed to your spouse. The day your baby was
blessed. The day grandma died or you miscarried your baby and you suddenly understood why
forever mattered so much. Scriptures that have changed you.
Your patriarchal blessing that has outlined your life in ways you
couldn't imagine when you were 14. The temple marriage that you want
for your children. The prayer you prayed all night long that was
answered miraculously. You knew it when you were 8. You knew it when
you were 18. You have 99 reasons to love the church, and this one
leaves you wondering. The answers aren't on google. They aren't in
dozens of bloggers or facebook comments. The answer is found simply
by asking The One who created all of this. He'll tell you why, and he's told you why through prophets. And
even if it's not what you would have personally chosen to do, His
answer does make sense. Go with that and love the 99 other reasons
because they are SO good.
